How to support a child who is taking drugs
There was an interesting piece in the Cambridge News recently concerning the issue of helping children who take drugs.
It is every parent’s worst nightmare to discover that their child is ‘using’; no parent wants to see their son or daughter become a drug addict. Substance abuse and drug addiction can tear families apart if problems are not tackled quickly.
Dr Dickon Bevington, a consultant in child and adolescent psychiatry working for Cambridgeshire and Peterborough NHS Foundation Trust, gave some insightful information for parents and carers. He has seen many cases of drug and substance abuse in young people over the years and shared his advice on how to identify a possible problem and how to deal with it.
Most parents identify the signs that a child is using drugs automatically; however, some ignore the problem for weeks or even months before confronting their child. Many liberal parents feel that it is okay for a child to experiment a little with cannabis when with friends and so chose to do nothing. Others refuse to believe their children take drugs; how could their little angel possibly be a drug user? Some feel that if they say anything their child might rebel further, while others take the view that it must just be a phase they are going through.
However difficult it may be, it is essential to confront a child when there are signs of more serious problems. Usually a crisis leads to a confrontation, such as finding drugs at home, an accidental overdose, a message from worried friends or actually catching him or her taking drugs.
What to do?
The best course of action is to try to build trust and speak to the child in a way that makes it easy for them to reply. This is done by waiting for the crisis to dissipate and then emphasising that you are worried and want to help.
Dr Bevington suggests broaching the subject by saying something along the lines of, ‘look, this may seem like I’m just prying, but I’m worried about you, and I hope you can understand this is what’s behind what I want to ask you about…’ He advises parents against buying drug testing kits because this comes across as being overly aggressive and authoritarian and risks losing all trust with the child. Drug testing kits can be used later on in the process as a way to work with the youngster to ensure they stay off the drug(s). Dr Bevington suggests that parents can offer rewards for every week that their child stays off drugs and a testing kit is a fair and objective method to determine this.
Another problem is that many of the designer drugs youngsters take today cannot be reliably detected by testing kits. In fact, some young people have moved on to drugs that are more dangerous, to avoid testing positive for cannabis.
Dr Bevington reminds parents and carers that it is more important to talk and be open with children than it is to simply test and punish.
Dealing with a drug problem in the family often comes down to improving relationships in general. Parents must learn to be tactful and diplomatic when faced with such issues and remember that their child is becoming an independent person and needs to be guided and counselled rather than accused and punished.